


Stay with me, hold my hand

by The_other_gay_one_in_the_family



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, And definitely NO cheating, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Katherine the hot TA is Mother Superion btw, Lilith loves Mary but Mary's with Shanon, NOT a love triangle, OR IS IT??, There's some smut, Unrequited Love, it starts as a college au but they're not going to be in college the whole fic - Freeform, it's lilshotgun but there's minor avatrice and camilou, the rating went up because of chapter 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:56:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_other_gay_one_in_the_family/pseuds/The_other_gay_one_in_the_family
Summary: Lilith and Mary meet in college. Lilith crushes on Mary HARD (who would blame her lol). Mary's already with Shannon. For the rest of what happens, you'll have to read the prologue (and the fic). But I will say that it ends with a happy ending for Lilshotgun.
Relationships: Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 38





	1. First love/late spring

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to Mitski while reading (the titles are song titles or lyrics) so I suggest listening to that if you want.

It’s not something you expect, losing your highschool sweetheart. At least not  _ that _ way. You expect to break-up, maybe. Because few of those couples actually last long enough to get married anyway. But Shannon and Mary did. Because they were  _ that _ couple. They were IT for each other. At least, until life got in the way, or more accurately, death.

It took a long time for Mary to recover from Shannon’s death. She almost thought she wouldn’t even make it at some point. But she wasn’t alone, her friends were there for her when she wouldn’t get out of her apartment for days. Camila was there with her big, reassuring smiles and homemade cooking. Beatrice was there to make her remember to actually eat what Camila made. Ava usually accompanied Beatrice, but Mary knew that was because Ava wasn’t good with grieving people, even if she did bring moral support and tried to make her laugh a little. And then there was Lilith. Sweet Lilith who would drop by after work to see if Mary was okay, or at least as okay as she could be in the circumstances. Lilith who was not the most touchy person but she would bear-hug her if she asked. Mary asked her often.

Lilith hadn’t planned to fall for her friend. She certainly didn’t plan to fall for her friend who was in a long term,  _ very loving _ , relationship but it happened. The same friend who was going to get  _ married _ next fall. But then the wedding didn’t happen. Because Shannon died. And Mary was heartbroken beyond words. So Lilith never thought her and Mary were ever a possibility. She had resigned herself to love her from a distance. It was foolish of her to even entertain the thought that Mary could reciprocate her feelings anyway. She could see that Mary had only ever had eyes for Shannon and who was she to try to take that away? But she could still be there for her friend. She would be there for Mary. Even if it meant her unrequited feelings for Mary got discarded in the process.


	2. I want you

Lilith remembered the easy days too well now. Well, maybe not easy days but at least easier. Like how she met Mary for the first time and the rest of her friends. How devastated she was when she found out her crush wasn’t single. How she discovered what an amazing person Shannon was. How she fell in love with Mary despite that. After all, it’s not like she could help it.

Lilith was in her second week of college when she met Mary. She had just started to get along with her roommate Beatrice, not that the other girl was difficult but still. Lilith hadn’t made any friends yet but that didn’t concern her that much. After all, it wasn’t like it was easy for her. Being a trust fund baby had its advantages, like never having to worry about money was great and having an impeccable fashion sense that she could actually maintain. But the downsides were almost not worth it. Lilith felt like the friends she did have, mostly back in high school, were never her real friends. She had a hard time trusting people because they usually wanted something from her, be it money or just a bit of the prestige that came with being a Reyes-Ipos-De La Cruz. By the time she felt like she could trust her friends, they had already got bored and moved on. So all things considered, it was going well with Beatrice. The latter was also a trust fund baby but unlike the other trust fund babies Lilith knew, she wasn’t pretentious or a major bitch. So Lilith felt like she could have a friend in her roommate, or at the very least an ally.

Considering her aforementioned history with making friends, it really took Lilith by surprise when she met Mary. Lilith was entering her AP French afternoon class for her second course of the semester when she was hailed by the TA, Katherine. Not far behind Katherine was awkwardly standing a girl Lilith hadn’t noticed the week prior.  _ And boy was she hard to miss _ . Katherine explained that Mary, the new student, had missed the deadline for language classes and she had to take AP French as it was her only option. The problem was Mary had barely passed the qualification essay to make it into the class and she needed that class. So Katherine had come up with a solution. She already knew Lilith was overqualified for this class and that she could’ve taught it herself. So the solution was that, if wanted, she would tutor Mary this semester in exchange for extra credit. Honestly Lilith would’ve done it just to spend time with the pretty girl but the extra credit was a nice bonus.

“I’m Lilith, by the way.”

“I know,” said Mary. “Maybe we could sit together.” She paused. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah that’s totally fine.”

“Good! Cause I don’t know anyone in this class and I would definitely like to have a friendly face beside me.” Another pause. “Plus, that way we can exchange numbers after so we can easily communicate.”

“It’s settled then,” said Lilith with a small smile.

So they sat the rest of the class together. Like they had agreed earlier, they exchanged numbers after and they parted ways, with a promise from Lilith to text Mary as soon as she could for her first lesson. 

Lilith felt a little giddy as she returned to her dorm for the rest of the day. Mary seemed really nice and  _ oh god she’s so pretty _ . Lilith felt like she could very well become her friend  _ or something else, nope not going there, she's just friendly damn it _ . But only time would tell and Lilith really hoped they could be friends.

Lilith must have taken too much time to text Mary for the lessons because she got a text almost a week after they met. 

"Are you free tomorrow?"

"What for?" Lilith is lowkey freaking out.  _ Was she asking her out on a date? _

"The French lessons? I was thinking we could meet in the morning before class."

_ Oh that's what it was. Of course. What else? _

"Oh, sure. I'm free"

"Sweet! See you at say, 9 o'clock. The coffee shop near the library?"

_ Oh. A coffee shop. _ That was a different territory for Lilith. She stared at her phone in a mild panic, taking too long to respond.

"Are you still there?"

_ Oh shoot. I need to respond. _

"Yes. I'm here."

"We could go to the library if you don't like coffee."

"No. The coffee shop is good."

"Great! See ya tomorrow then."

_ Tomorrow. _ Lilith wasn't ready for that. Emotionally ready that is. But her stuff for the lesson was ready.  _ I can do this. _

To say Lilith wasn't nervous for the lesson would've been lying. She had prepared the lesson almost as soon as she came back to her dorm the week before but the anticipation of it all was a lot to endure. As soon as she entered the coffee shop, she spotted Mary sitting at a table near the window. Which, unbeknownst to them, would become  _ their _ spot.

"Hey! I was waiting for you before I ordered. What are you having?"

Lilith smiled and her response was immediate. 

"Thank you! I'll have tea."

She was way too jittery that morning to have coffee. 

As Mary went to order, Lilith got her stuff out of her bag and took in the interior of the coffee shop. It was cosy. There were a lot of people but the conversations seemed joyful if a little loud. She also had time to admire Mary's profile while she ordered which she was grateful for.

When Mary came back with Lilith's tea and what seemed like an americano, they chatted a little and Lilith learned that the other girl was a psychology major. She also learned that she played rugby on the school team.

After their chat, they dived into the lesson which was mostly a way for Lilith to assess to which degree Mary needed her help. By the end of their meeting, Lilith could see that Mary was decent, pretty good actually, but not quite the level of the class. Lilith then made a lesson plan for the semester following the syllabus. They also made plans to meet once a week the day after class, on Fridays, to do their homework and papers together and it would allow Lilith to give bonus explanations to Mary. 

They then parted ways and Lilith went back to her dorm to wait for their class that afternoon. The rest of the morning, she tried to do some work for another class but she couldn’t concentrate since she couldn’t stop thinking about Mary. She was really pretty, nice and smart. And Lilith couldn’t stop wondering if she was gay. She had inkling that she might be, but she also didn’t want to assume.  _ Time will tell I guess. _

The routine they had established went smoothly for a month before something happened. They were almost at the end of their lesson when Mary got a text. 

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, I forgot to tell you but I have to leave a little early and my lift texted me that she’s almost here.”

“Oh. That’s totally fine.”

Lilith started to slowly put away her stuff neatly in her bag as Mary shoved hastily hers in her backpack. As she finished, a woman arrived on a motorcycle and parked it in the parking lot. She then got off the bike to pull out a helmet from underneath the seat and took hers off. The woman was simply stunning. Her hair was in an intricate braided bun and she was wearing a leather jacket. Mary approached the woman and as she did, the other put the helmets down and went to meet Mary halfway. When they finally were close enough to one another, Mary took the other in a tight embrace and then kissed her tenderly on her lips, cupping her face with her hands and all that. 

_ Oh. _

Lilith quickly looked away and continued putting her things away, which she hadn’t realized she stopped doing. She then left the coffee shop in a hurry, eager to get back to her dorm. Once she got there, she left the door open and she just flopped unceremoniously on her bed with a loud groan.

“Are you okay?” asked a voice to her left.

_ Shoot. Beatrice is there. What do I do? _

Lilith got up and then sat on the edge of her bed and folded her hands on her lap.

“I’m…” started Lilith. “Not really.” She slumped a little at that.

“Oh? What is it? Do you want to talk about it?”

Lilith didn’t exactly hide her being gay, she just had trouble opening up to others and she didn’t want to tell that part of herself, which was so personnal and made her so vulnerable, to someone who could make her life harder. So coming out to a roommate could be tricky. But Lilith was starting to really like Beatrice. She was smart and seemed as focused on her studies as Lilith. She was also nice, if a little guarded. And even if Beatrice did go to a catholic boarding school, she had a feeling like she wasn’t homophobic.  _ I hope. _

Lilith hesitated, looking at the people walking in the hallway and back at her hands. Beatrice got up, gently closed the door and walked back to sit on her own bed. She was waiting for Lilith to talk, with a gentle smile on her lips.

“I… Uh… I got this crush. They’re really great but I just found out they’re already in a relationship. And I know this might be silly but this person is really great and pretty and they have a smile that could rival the sun’s level of brightness… And now I’m turning into a cliché.” Lilith finished with a sigh.

“Oh. I’m so sorry. They seem wonderful though.”

“She really is.”

Lilith froze. She said she.  _ Beatrice knows. _

“She?” Beatrice said.

Hearing that, Lilith straightened her back, giving herself a more intimidating look.

“Yes. I’m gay, Beatrice. And I hope you’re okay with that because I think we get along well enough and I don’t necessarily want to change roommates but I will if I have to. And look, I know you went to catholic school, but I hope that didn’t taint your view of people like me. So I hope that you can accept my sexuality and that we can move past that.”

“Don’t worry Lilith. I’m not going to judge you or anything. In fact,” Beatrice takes a deep breath “I’m gay too.”

Relief washes over Lilith as she hears Beatrice’s words.

“I’m not out to a lot of people, so it’s nice to know that I can trust you with that,” said Lilith.

“Of course you can trust me. There’s no doubt to have. And I want you to know that you can always talk to me about this kind of thing. Or anything really.”

“I’m so relieved. I think I couldn't have had a better reaction.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” said Beatrice. “So. This crush…”

Lilith groaned again while letting herself fall back unto her bed and putting her hands to her face.


	3. I just want somebody near me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay panic, rugby and more gay panic.

The next time Lilith saw Mary in class, she tried to act as natural as possible. Which, as you would expect, she failed miserably. Mary must have suspected something was going on because she asked Lilith if there was something wrong. Lilith tried to cover it up by saying she was just tired and she didn't know if Mary believed her, but at least she didn't pry any further.

After their lesson the next week, Mary asked her if she wanted to come to her rugby game a week from then.

"I know you said you don't have many friends and mine are chill and I think you might get along with them.”

“Oh. That’s really nice actually. I’ll think about it,” Lilith said.

When Lilith came back to her room, it was empty so she decided to take a headstart on a paper that was due in a few weeks. She was almost done with it when Beatrice arrived from her afternoon class.

“Hi. How was your class?”

“Ugh...” groaned Beatrice uncharacteristically.

“Wow that bad?”

“This math class is killing me. Not a lot of people know this, but math is my nemesis. And not only the class is hard, but there’s this cute girl in my class and she seems to know everything math related. And it’s becoming increasingly hard to concentrate since she’s sitting right in front of me. And always answering the professor’s questions.”

“Oh. So it’s not the class then. What’s her name?”

“Ava. All I know is she’s really good at math and I think she does some kind of sport because her back and her arms are really muscular.”

“Do you think she might like girls?”

“I really don’t know, but I hope so.”

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about, too.” Lilith said with a hesitant tone.

“Oh? Is it about  _ Mary? _ ” Beatrice said with a hint of teasing in her voice.

“You’re having way too much fun with this. But yes. She invited me to her rugby game and I really wanna go, but not alone. And she said I could meet her friends so it could be good for us, to make more friends.”

“You want me to go with you? To a rugby game? You do know I don’t know anything about rugby, right?”

“Me neither. But I bet there’s gonna be cute jock girls.” It was Lilith’s turn to tease her friend. They really did grow closer since they came out to each other.

“You know what? You make a compelling argument. I’ll go with you.” She seemed to ponder for a moment. “I’ll help you manage your huge crush on Mary.”

“Oh my god. Why did I ask you again?” Said Lilith while pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

The day of the game, Lilith was a ball of nerves. She didn’t like meeting new people and meeting a group of friends was a whole other experience. At least they were Mary’s friends and she felt like she could trust Mary. The other girl seemed to genuinely want to spend time with her and like she really wanted to be her friend. And Beatrice was going to be there so she should be fine. She just needed to decide what to wear.  _ What do people wear to a rugby game? _ Lilith finally decided on a frilly sheer top with bishop sleeves with a camisole underneath and a short tweed skirt. After that, she went to join Beatrice just outside the stadium. When Beatrice saw her, she did a double take.

“This is what you’re wearing?”

“Yes? Is this not okay?” Lilith shifted uncomfortably.

“Well you don’t have time to change, but your outfit screams  _ I have money and I’ve never been to a rugby game in my life _ . But you look good. I just hope you don’t distract too much ladies on the field.”

“Haha. You’re  _ so funny _ …” said Lilith with a mocking tone.

“I know. So what’s the plan?”

“Well, Mary said she could meet us briefly to introduce us to some of her friends before the game so we could sit with them and meet back up after the game.”

It took them a minute, but they spotted Mary close to the bleachers. She almost tripped when she saw Mary in her uniform,  _ in those shorts _ . She quickly recomposed herself as they made their way over there. There were two other girls with her. One she recognized as being Mary’s girlfriend and the other was shorter with a big smile and short black hair.

“Hi Lilith! I’m glad you could come. So this is Shannon, my girlfriend. And this is one of our friends, Camila.”

“This is Beatrice and it’s nice to meet you all.” 

They all shook hands and then Mary had to leave so they made their way to the seats Shannon and Camila had saved for them. It wasn’t too long after the game had started that Beatrice let out a small squeal. Lilith was intrigued as to what might have elicited that reaction so she got closer to her.

“What is it?” Lilith asked.

“Ava’s here. She’s in Mary’s team.”

“Oh. Which one is it?”

“The one who Mary just passed the ball to.”

“You mean the one who looks like a human golden retriever?”

“She doesn’t” Beatrice started to protest. “Yeah that one.”

“She’s cute. I hope you have better luck than I did.”

The game went by swiftly, Lilith and Beatrice didn’t understand much of it but they knew Mary’s team was impressive, and winning. The pair of friends had taken to make their game commentary to try to make sense in all of this. They also didn’t want to make anyone think they were mocking the game so they were almost whispering to each other, which forced them to stay close to one another.

After the game, they were chatting with Shannon and Camila while waiting for Mary and the rest of their friends. They learned that Shannon was a history major, which delighted Beatrice since she was an art history major. As for Camila, she was studying computer science. They also learned that they were all friends from high school. Mary arrived promptly after that with two friends, one of which was Ava, the other one who was currently kissing Camila. Mary gave a quick kiss to Shannon and then she introduced Lilith and Beatrice to the newcomers. They already knew Ava’s name, but Lilith made it seem like she didn’t and the other one, a girl with a sleeveless hoodie apparently named Lou and also Camila’s girlfriend.

“You’re in my math class, right?” Ava asked Beatrice.

“Yeah. I sit in the row behind you. That class is so hard, though.”

“Yeah, I thought I recognized you earlier in the bleachers. If you want, I could help you, I’m pretty good in that class.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you. That would be very nice.”

Both looked down at their feet, bashful.

“So there’s this party at one of our teammate’s house that we’re all going to. Would you two want to come?” Mary asked Lilith and Beatrice. 

“Yeah! Sounds fun!” said Lilith, perhaps a little too enthusiastic.

“Sweet. We can actually all walk from here if that’s okay with y’all. And it’s safer cause nobody has to drive.”

They walked a bit in silence, with Camila, Lou and Ava in the front and the rest of them walked behind.

“I gotta say, you two make a great couple!” Shannon said to Lilith.

“Who?” said Lilith, genuinely confused.

“Beatrice and you? You seemed so engulfed in your conversation earlier, Camila and I didn’t wanna disturb you.”

“We’re not dating.” Lilith said that abruptly, almost with a look of disdain on her face.

"Oh sorry I just thought... I didn't want to assume you were gay. Or anything really. You two just seemed really close." Shannon continued "I mean. We're pretty much all gay so it's easy sometimes to forget that not everyone is."

"Oh no, you're right. I'm gay. I'm just not dating Beatrice. We’re just friends and she's my roommate."

_ Wow that felt great.  _ Knowing that she would be accepted made coming out so much easier.

"Oh sweet. Do you have a girlfriend then? If that's not too personal." Shannon replied.

"Not at the moment, no." At that Lilith looked a little sad.

“Actually, I’m not gay, I’m bi. Just wanted to clear that out, but go on.” Ava said, with a dorky smile.

“I’M GAY!” practically yelled Beatrice. “Sorry, I just wanted to put that out there,” she added as she recomposed herself.

“Nice!” Said Ava. “So everyone here is gay then, or bi in my case.”

“Beatrice and I met in september, but I heard you all went to high school together. What was that like?” Lilith asked to the group.

“Well, I was pretty much always out, so I approached Lou, who I knew she was gay and on who I had a huge crush. We’ve been dating almost ever since. And she was on the rugby team with Mary and Ava so that’s how I knew them.” started Camila.

“It also seems pertinent to add that I was kind of a fuckboy in high school, until I met this one.” said Lou before kissing Camila gently on her forehead.

“I had a boyfriend, JC, for a few years in high school and these gals helped me realize I like girls as well. Well, them and every girl playing rugby.”

“Mary and I came out around the same time. I think I was out a little after you, right babe?” Mary nodded. “So I knew of her and thought she was cute but I didn’t know she was gay. So not long after I came out, a mutual acquaintance came to me and was like  _ Dude! I know a lesbian and you’re gonna love her! _ And I was like  _ Just because she’s gay, doesn’t mean I’ll like her _ . That was until I saw her in her rugby uniform.” She kissed Mary’s cheek at that. “God, I remember one of my friends who said to pick my jaw from the floor.”

“And I heard that. So I went to introduce myself with something simple like  _ Hey, I’m Mary _ . And then you’ll never guess what she said.”

“I’m so embarrassed,” said Shannon, hiding her face in her hands.

“She said  _ I’m… gay… Shannon, I’m Shannon. _ ”

“And she can’t let me escape from that memory ever since.”

“Yeah but you love me. And I still agreed to go out with you a few weeks after that.”

“Yeah I do love you.” Shannon said before kissing her girlfriend.

Lilith looked away at that. She was thankful for the fact that they had apparently finally arrived at the party.


	4. There's a lie that I told to you, that now I can't tell the truth

Lilith’s first year of college went by pretty fast. It had been surprisingly easy for Beatrice and herself to enter Mary’s friend group. She had felt like she could trust Mary right away and Mary trusted her friends so who was Lilith to not trust in Mary’s judgement. Lilith had also become more comfortable in her sexuality, even going to a few Pride events that were hosted on campus. She had been out to her family since her freshman year of high school but that was a pretty easy coming out considering she had two moms and that her twin sister, Delilah, came a few years before her. She had fallen in love with a girl, Chanel, she saw at events where her moms were invited and one time she actually asked her out. Chanel and Lilith dated for about a year, but ended up deciding they worked better as friends. But being out at school had never been easy. The fact that she had almost no friends didn’t help and it’s not like she was going to come out to random fellow students just because she didn’t want to hide it. That’s what made having a bunch of friends she could be comfortable with that much more special. She could finally be her full self. 

Lilith thought her feelings for Mary would go away after a few months like it had happened with a lot of her crushes during her high school years, but they hadn’t. If anything, they only had gotten stronger. She often wondered what she was gonna do to get rid of these feelings because despite everything, Mary was a really good friend. And the fact that Shannon was an amazing friend - and a great girlfriend for Mary - made it especially hard for Lilith. At least she had Beatrice to count on. Not that she had been that much helpful lately, with her stupid decision to not ask Ava out, after pining _all year._

“Just ask her out already. It’s not that complicated.” Lilith said to Beatrice one week before the end of the school year. “I know you’re almost not gonna see her all summer, but if you don’t do it, you’re going to regret it. Besides, if it works out, _which it will_ , you could visit each other. You’re not going to be _that_ far apart after all.”

“But what if it doesn’t work out?”

“ _It will_. But if it doesn’t I’m here for you and then you won’t have to see her all summer and the awkwardness of the situation will have hopefully gone away.”

"Fine. But if I die of embarrassment, it will be on your conscience." And she left Lilith to study for her final tomorrow.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Beatrice came back with a visibly lighter mood than earlier. Lilith was still studying, reading her notes for the umpteenth time.

"So… how did it go?" Lilith did her best to mask her playful tone but it still shone through her words.

"I asked Ava out..."

"And what did she say?"

"Well at first she said no, but it was only because we were in the coffee shop and she thought I said _do you want to go_ , she had missed the most important part of my question which was _out with me_. And then she said yes. And as we were about to leave, she asked me if I wanted to go to the park, so we did. And we got ice cream. And Ava tried to feed some ducks but the bread kept falling too far from them so they didn't go for it. And then we walked back here. And uh…"

"Yes…" said Lilith, intrigued.

"Then we kissed."

"Oh, that's nice! And who kissed who first?"

"I did."

"Nice. Camila owes me 20 dollars then."

"YOU BET ON US KISSING!?"

"I bet that you would kiss her first, so I believed in you, don't be mad at me, be mad at Camila. _She’s_ the one who thought you would chicken out"

"I-" started Beatrice rubbing her face. "I can't even be fully mad at you, I'm too happy." She smiled at that.

"Well I'm glad. I'm happy for you Bea. Oh and I've heard some news too that I wanted to tell you, about someone else who's happy."

Beatrice just looks at her quizzically.

"You know my French TA last semester?"

"The hot one?"

"Beatrice! But yes her. Well apparently she's dating this other TA, Jillian, that Lou talked about earlier this semester."

"Oh that's really cute. I'm happy for them."

Beatrice was right, Katherine _was_ hot. Lilith remembered vividly one time last semester when some frat boys sitting behind her and Mary were saying that she looked like a nun. They even had the audacity to call her Mother Superion because they thought she was a bitch. _Typical cis men_. Lilith wondered if they had eyes. Sure, Katherine dressed modestly, but those guys acted like she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the room. “Well, almost” she had thought as she had looked at the person sitting beside her. Still, Katherine was really hot. Especially with that scar that would make her almost threatening if Lilith didn’t know better. It was Katherine after all that had suggested that she should help Mary. 

“Speaking of Lou, it’s sad that she’s transfering next year.” Beatrice said with chagrin.

“Yes. But at least we’ll still get to see her this summer and when she visits Camila. Poor Camila, though.”

“I mean, _she’s_ the one who practically begged Lou to take the scholarship and go to that school. And to be fair, it’s a pretty great school.”

“That’s true, but we’ll miss her. I just wish they’ll make it.”

"I'm sure they will." said Beatrice with a hopeful tone in her voice.

After that exchange Lilith went quiet for a bit, still reading her notes while sitting on her bed. Beatrice was on her own bed texting someone,most likely Ava judging by the way she was grinning at her phone like an idiot. Lilith was the first one to break the silence.

"So does this mean you and Ava are finally dating?"

"Well, we haven't talked about it that much, but I think so. Why do you ask?"

"Oh nothing. I was just wondering what your summer was going to be like. Are you two gonna visit each other? I'm assuming you will at least."

"Your assumption would be right. I'm mostly going to visit her because I don't have to work and she does so it's easier that way and it's not like I can't afford it."

"Are your parents gonna be okay with you dating a girl? I know they're not the most… progressive type."

"They're a little better now. I guess that since I'm not dependent on them for literally everything anymore and that I still _choose_ to have a relationship with them made them rethink their priorities. So we've been working on it. We talked about it on my Easter holiday, actually. And we've been talking more regularly ever since."

"Ah. That's what that was about. I did find it odd when you started talking to them more frequently but I didn't want to say anything."

Beatrice nodded, a pensive look on her face.

"What about you? What are your plans for this summer?"

"Well, first I'm going back to the UK to see my mothers, I miss them so much. I'm staying with them for about a month. And I'll try to see Delilah in the process, I think she's touring again in Europe with her band, _Samson's scissors_. Then I'm gonna have to find her, I might follow her on tour for a couple weeks, though. And after that, I'm coming back here to hang out with all of you guys. With a little luck, not seeing Mary might help me with this ridiculous crush."

_Absence makes the heart grow fonder, though. No. Don't think about that._ She tried to convince herself with little to no success that it would work.


	5. Every hand that has beckoned me to come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou's going away party and the squad play matchmakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, life got in the way.
> 
> This chapter is definitely spicier than the others, so if you don't like that, you can easily skip it (also that's why I updated the rating).
> 
> Also this is babyhellboy's birthday gift, go check them out. And you can thank them for Lilith's amazing outfits!

"So like I said, we won't do gifts, but we'll make one big party instead. Besides, it's going to be cheaper that way." Camila explained as she was stirring her coffee. "Not that it would've been a problem for you two." She said looking to Lilith and Beatrice.

Lilith, Beatrice, Ava and Camila were at the coffee shop Lilith and Mary used to have their French study lessons last year. It was almost the end of the summer and Lou was set to leave next Monday. As Camila was saying, they were having a big party on the weekend to celebrate their birthdays so Lou wouldn't miss any and they were also celebrating her recruitment. That party was going to be a lot. Not only Lilith was going to be alone, but her friends tended to be handsy with their girlfriends when were drunk. Ava and Beatrice were surprisingly the worst ones at keeping their hands to each other, but Camila and Lou were not far behind and when taking Shannon and Mary into account? Those two would make statues blush. She tried to avoid being left alone with those last two at parties.

"Does Lou know about this or is this a surprise?" Asked Ava.

"She knows. So don't worry about slipping up."

Ava starts to protest but shoots one look at Beatrice who's looking back at her girlfriend with a stern look and she stops.

"I'll go to this party, but you have to promise not to leave me alone and I don't wanna be third-wheeling anyone."

Beatrice shoots her a sympathetic look, knowing full well she meant not to leave her alone with Shannon and Mary, even if Lilith really didn't like being alone at parties, drunk people overwhelming her, especially unfamiliar people.

"We won't I promise." Beatrice said softly.

"Yeah dude, don't worry!" Ava said with a smile on her face that felt like it didn't bode well for Lilith.

Lilith eyed her suspiciously, but she didn't have time to dwell on it since she had to go to meet her mothers because they were in town for the day.

They didn't talk much about the party after that conversation, except for details, like making sure everyone knew where it was. It was a frat house that belonged to one of Ava's friends, or something like that. Lilith didn't know much about frat houses, except that they existed and that there were way too many guys for her liking. But they did throw good parties and they accepted to throw Lou's going away party for them.

Lilith arrived at the party later than her friends, having difficulty choosing her outfit, as usual. She had finally decided on a loose turtleneck tucked into her checkered pants with a pair of doc martens. The fact that Mary said she looked hot in that outfit the last time she wore it might have something to do with her choice.

When she finally got in the house, after having looked with disdain at a few guys who were eyeing her, she found her friends by the kitchen counter, looking suspiciously calm when they spotted Lilith. Beatrice left Ava's side, which was highly unusual, and came to meet Lilith halfway.

"Please don't be mad. It wasn't my idea." It was all Bea managed to say before they made it to their friends, leaving Lilith confused and nervous.

"So Lilith, we know you haven't been dating lately," Shannon said and Lilith's eyes looked up in fear at that.

"And so we decided to give you a little push to help you get back on tracks" Camila said with a smile.

"What did you do?" Lilith said, eyeing them all suspiciously.

"There's this girl we invited, that we think you'd get along with." Shannon said.

"And if you wanna bang her, nobody's judging." Ava said with a wink.

"Oh my god, Ava! Why are we dating again?" Beatrice said, facepalming.

"Because of my charm? And I'm irresistible?"

"Right..." Beatrice said, squinting her eyes at her girlfriend, but still kissing her anyway.

Lilith didn't know anything about the girl she was supposed to meet, but she had to admit that it did seem nice to meet new people in a romantic capacity again. She didn't know if she wanted to hook up tonight, but it was not something she was entirely opposed to.

"I guess it doesn't hurt to meet someone new." Lilith said.

"It's a good thing you say that, because she just arrived."

Lilith turned around to see a girl who was still in the doorway, looking around the room, obviously searching for someone. When she saw Ava, she smiled and made her way to the friend group. The girl was gorgeous with her long blond hair flowing in waves from her floppy hat, with her sheer long sleeve top tucked into a sparkly metallic skirt with a black bralette underneath paired with a long necklace and several other jewelry pieces. When she arrived where the group was standing, Ava introduced her as Zori, a friend from her sociology classes.

As the night went on, Lilith and Zori chatted about their majors and their lives, the two of them clearly attracted to each other, but not having very much in common. They played beer pong, which Lilith had never played, so she understandably got her ass handed to her. She then decided they would play a game _she_ was good at.

That's how they ended up playing pool and Lilith effectively beating Zori in the first two turns. Granted, Lilith had learned to play with Delilah in secret on their mothers' expensive pool tables when they were young. They were so competitive that they kept practicing and got really good at it. Lilith hadn't played as much recently, but she was still really good. In an attempt to make the other girl feel better, she decided to teach her a few basic tricks. And if she got to embrace the other girl from behind while showing her how to hold the cue stick? Well, that was just a bonus. And the way Lilith was almost on top of Zori when she showed her how to hit a ball that was farther from the edge of the table, the both of them practically laying on the pool table? That was purely Lilith teasing the other girl.

That last move seemed to be the last straw for Zori, because she abandoned the game and turned in Lilith's arms to face her, looking at her with a hungry look in her eyes. They both looked at each other, panting and finally they started kissing while leaning on the pool table. There was a lot of people in the room so Lilith dragged Zori in a hallway so they could get a little more privacy. They were making out for a solid ten minutes when Zori finally spoke out.

"Wanna take this somewhere else?"

"Yes, but first I gotta take care of something, so stay here and I'll be right back." Lilith gave a last peck on Zori's lips before going to find Beatrice, who was with Ava. _This is going to be fun_.

"Hey Bea. Can I uh... Could you sleep in Ava's room tonight? I kinda need the room for myself." The amount of blushing on Lilith's cheek would've been embarrassing if she wasn't already mortified. And Ava's shit eating grin certainly wasn't helping.

"Yes, sure. Whatever you need."

"Oh so it's going that well, uh?" Ava said while she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Shut up Ava, I don't have time for this. And yes... Also, thank you Bea."

She hurried back to Zori, afraid that the girl would bolt if she took too long. She was still there, on her phone, waiting patiently for Lilith to return. She smiled when she saw her, putting her phone in her pocket and taking Lilith's hand in the process. They walked together to Lilith's dorm, which was not far from the frat house. The tension between them was high from all the making out and the knowledge of what they were about to do was energizing them.

When they finally arrived to Lilith's room, she had trouble unlocking her door, nervous and excited. It'd been a long time since she had sex, let alone a one night stand, because she was assuming that's what it was. Sure, Zori was hot, but Lilith had no intention of entering a relationship anytime soon. When she finally unlocked the door, Zori pried it open and tugged Lilith in, hurriedly closing the door and slamming Lilith against it, locking the door again. She started attacking Lilith's neck with kisses, the other girl moaning in the process.

"Is this okay?" Zori asked, still peppering kisses.

"Yes, more than okay."

With that, Lilith dragged Zori to her bed, sitting on it and inviting the other girl to sit on her lap. They started kissing frantically again, but this time even less inhibited since no one was near or watching. Zori was quick to remove her top but it didn't reveal much since it was already almost transparent and she also took off her skirt and shoes, leaving her in her underwear. Lilith's hands were on her ribs, bringing her closer to her, continuing their kissing. Only to have Zori breaking it off again.

"You are way too dressed, it's unfair. Can I take off your clothes?" She asked Lilith, who nodded enthusiastically.

Zori started by taking off Lilith's boots, then went on to take off her pants, which Lilith had already unbuttoned, sliding them slowly along the girl's long, beautiful legs. Impatient, Lilith took off her shirt on her own, tossing it on the floor beside her bed. She wasn't wearing a bra, so Zori gasped when she saw her exposed chest. The shorter girl gently pushed Lilith to lay on the bed and straddled her. She resumed the kissing of her neck that she started earlier, this time with her hands roaming on Lilith's skin instead of over her clothes, but still taking her sweet time. One of her hands was particularly adventurous, laying on the underside of Lilith's left boob, not far, but not quite touching it. Lilith, wanting desperately to be touched, took her hand and placed it on her breast herself, pressing Zori's hand firmly on it. When Zori massaged it briefly, Lilith couldn't help but roll her hips into the other girl's.

"Someone's eager." Zori said.

"Just fuck me already." Lilith exclaimed herself before softening her tone. "Please."

"Your wish is my command, milady."

With that, Zori started to make her way down Lilith's body, kissing her along the way, giving her nipples some special attention before continuing. When she was at the hem of Lilith's underwear, she looked up, making sure Lilith was okay. When the taller girl nodded, she took off her underwear, tossing it somewhere behind her. She started kissing her thighs, but seeing Lilith squirming with want and the evidence of her effect on the girl, she didn't wait long before diving in.

She gave a lick to Lilith's core, eliciting a cry from the other girl. She started to lick around her clit, not touching it yet. The blonde griped Lilith's hips, steadying them and giving her a few experimental licks, gauging her reaction. Lilith's back arched a little when Zori hit a particular spot, so she decided to give it more attention, sucking here, applying more pressure with her tongue there.

When it became evident that it wasn't going to be enough for Lilith, Zori licked her fingers and placed them at the other girl's entrance. She waited there, waiting for Lilith to look at her and for her consent. When Lilith nodded enthusiastically, she slowly inserted the tip of one finger, teasing. Lilith moaned at that, so she slid her finger in a few times, enjoying the feeling of Lilith around her and not completely pulling it out. That is until Lilith asked, _no_ , demanded for more, groaning with her demand. So Zori did as she was asked and added a finger in her, but still going at a slow pace.

She was enjoying seeing Lilith squirm, the sensation of Zori's fingers was great, but not satisfying enough to get her to the edge. She wasn't going to let her go unsatisfied, though. So she curled up her fingers and sped up her pace, Lilith now chasing her fingers when she pulled. She also put her mouth back on Lilith's clit, leaving the spot she took on her left thigh. While she sucked on her clit and licked it, Lilith put her hand to Zori's hair, tangling her long fingers in it. Lilith's breathing was becoming more labored with each stroke of Zori's tongue, she was _really close_. Zori reached up to lay her hand on Lilith's boob, massaging it and slightly pinching the nipple. Lilith's grip tightened in the other girl's hair as the last of her grip on lucidity slipped away from her. She became stiff as she came undone, her back arching from the bed and Zori helped her ride out her orgasm. Lilith fell back on her bed after that.

"Wow... That... was really good..." Lilith said while panting.

"I know" Said Zori, smirking as she came to lay on her side next to Lilith, her head in her hand.

"I... You're so smug... Give me a minute to catch my breath and I'll return the favor."

"Is that so?" Zori said as she kissed Lilith's shoulder.

-

The rest of the year went by slowly for Lilith. She ended up seeing Zori a few times after that night, but there was nothing serious between them. On Lilith's side of things, it was mostly because she wanted to be touched, but she was not ready for a relationship, especially not when she still had feelings for Mary. It would be unfair of Lilith to put any girl through that. So she had sex with Zori a few times, needing the contact, but distancing herself from any emotional connection. That relationship, if you could call it that, lasted one semester : until Lilith's friends started asking questions about the two of them. And the fact that it was _Mary_ who said to Lilith to "bring your girlfriend" at a party? Well, Lilith ending the relationship had nothing to do with that. _It did, but she wasn't going to admit that_.


End file.
